I sort of get angry whenever I see this. Something really bugs me about it. First of all, this guy was obviously showing the girl that he liked her, and she was obviously showing that in turn, she was uninterested. Then he thinks, “WOW you didn’t want to go out with me?? What a bitch!”. As IF it was her fault she didn’t want to have a relationship with him. Just get the fuck over it, and move on whydontcha?!
Why is a girl somehow obligated to go out with a guy just because he’s nice to her? Why can’t we simply say no, without appearing to be playing “hard to get”?
I do think that sometimes girls can be “dicks”, but really, any human being can.
I think what bothers me even more than all this stuff that Toby has done is that people have praised him for it. Someone took this screenshot and made it look like a (de)motivational poster, saying “This kid is my hero.” I feel like there is something really wrong with thinking that his behavior was not only okay, but a good way to act.
That being said, I don’t think it was right of her to label all guys as dicks, because generalizing in such a way can be just as harmful to men as it can be to women.
However, let’s try to think of how this all might have felt in Zoey’s position. It is made obvious in Toby’s post that Zoey doesn’t really want to be around him and had avoided him quite a bit. He seems to believe that his persistence is somehow romantic and that she is at fault for not caving in.
“In year seven I begged Mr. Rengis to be your Science partner”
This is strange. If you beg the teacher to be my partner without even asking me how I feel, I probably won’t be too happy. Why don’t I have a say?
“I suggested you come round 5 times and each time you said no”
Well duh. If she doesn’t want to be around you, why would she want to go to your house? If she felt uncomfortable, she very well may have thought that possibly failing the project was a better alternative to having to spend time with you (alone?). I almost did the same thing my senior year because the guy who was borderline stalking me was placed in my group. When our other member was absent, I spent the entire class period trying to dodge his inappropriate questions and comments. If this had been a project that needed work outside of school and he wanted me to come to his house, there would have been no way in hell I would have gone.
“In year 8 I sent you three valentines cards, I sent you candy and roses, I tried to be romantic”
No, no you did not. She was not your girlfriend. She has repeatedly avoided you and your advances. What on earth would make you think giving her gifts on Valentine’s Day would be a good idea? And on top of that, THREE cards? If a guy who was bothering me sent me all of those things, I would be frightened.
“In year 9, At the school disco I asked to dance with you, you said ‘yes, give me five minutes, i need to go to the toilet’ I waited for you to get back from the toilets for two hours, you never came back.”
Again, for the past two years (at least) you have been following her around, and she has tried to stay away from you. If she was upset or afraid, she could have lied to avoid making you angry. The only thing worse than a guy who can’t take “no” for an answer, is an angry guy who can’t take “no” for an answer.
“In year 10, I brought us to tickets to go and see your favorite band”
You are not her boyfriend. You are not her friend. Stop. Buying. Her. Things. It is not cute or sweet, it is creepy.
So we see that for the past 4 years, Toby has consistently followed Zoey around, refusing to accept that she does not want to date him. Instead of just moving on, he has been fixated on her for years. This is frightening, when you really think about it.
You might ask, “if it was so bad, why didn’t she just tell someone?”
The thing is, and I can tell you this from my own experiences (yes, there have been more than one), it often doesn’t help.
“He just has a crush on you, you should be flattered.”
“He’s probably harmless, don’t worry about it.”
“If it’s really that bad, just tell him to knock it off.”
Helpful, right?
^^^^ You are amazing. Everything you have just said is amazing.
(Source: entwizzle)
